Life's a Beach

I know I've mentioned that I spent part of my childhood in western Washington. The truth is that the majority of my youth (at least the bit I remember) was in eastern North Carolina--a booming metropolis called Plymouth. Can a town of about 4,500 people be considered a metropolis? There are several stoplights. I remember when we got our McDonalds!! When we drove through there last week, we stopped at a Wendys!! Beat that, Burlington, Wyoming, population 288!!!!

We decided to spend a few days on the North Carolina outer banks in mid-March, and Plymouth is right on the way to the beaches. So, we got to stop and look at my old house. The owners were probably thinking we were casing the place for a burglary. Do you ever get pissed off when you go back to an old house and the current owners have changed it beyond all recognition? My house wasn't quite that bad. The large magnolia tree I used to climb was still in the front yard. Yet, the pine trees we planted were gone, the apple trees were missing and the owners inexplicably built some sort of guest house on the property. They also had a stupid sign at the entrance to our long driveway proclaiming it to be "Lee's Lane," or something like that. Maybe 'Bob's' Lane? Doesn't matter. There shouldn't be a sign there! They need to change everything back to the way it was!! I was about to go pound on their front door and demand a tour of the property and an explanation for the way they crapped up my house, but Betsy convinced me that they were probably pulling out a shotgun as we sat in the driveway. Ah well; one more facet of my childhood shattered by reality.

I had a Real Food Blend en route to the beach

Our destination for this trip, Ocracoke island, was virtually unchanged from my last visit. The ferry boat we took to the island looked old enough to be the same one I rode as a kid. Running around that boat, smelling the salt in the air, listening to the cries of seagulls while watching them effortlessly glide overhead. That used to be one of my favorite parts of the whole trip. It was still pretty cool, especially since I took the opportunity to try out Real Food Blend's new powder blend. I talk about that in another post.

Shortly before Betsy pushed me overboard

The small town on Ocracoke Island still has the same isolated, fishing village vibe that it had when I was a boy. The town surrounds a sheltered bay on the sound side of the island. Many of the names of the touristy shops and restaurants have changed since my last visit (fall of 2003, before a hurricane swept over the island and destroyed my grandparents home up the coast in Edenton, NC), but the town essentially remains the same. My favorite lighthouse is still there:

In operation since 1823

It is a rather short and squat lighthouse compared to the more famous Cape Hatteras lighthouse up the coast, but I still prefer this one. It feels more thick and solid to me and the pure white color looks lovely rising over the gnarled trees and town below.

Wish I could say I took this, but I pulled it off the web

Practically every store and restaurant on the island has the name "Edward" or "Teach" somewhere in it. Ok, not everything, but you see the name a lot. Even the Mexican food truck is called Eduardo's. This is because Edward Teach was the real name of Blackbeard the pirate and one of his favorite places to hang out was Ocracoke island. It's also the place where he met his untimely end during a ferocious battle in 1718.

He liked to light his beard on fire during battle because why not?

So Blackbeard and I have something in common (we both like Ocracoke; other than that I'd say we're complete opposites). I'd imagine he liked to visit the island at the same time we went--late Spring, early summer before the heat, bugs, and tourists become unbearable (FYI, the tourists during the eighteenth century were a menace). The restaurants were all just opening up and getting ready for the season the week we went. The first restaurant we visited was one of the fancier places on the island, Dajio's.

Dajio's is a nice restaurant with prices a bit more expensive than other places in town. I left my blender back at the house we rented, so I passed the time waiting for Betsy and Grace by drinking alcohol.

Some wine at Dajio's

I got some clam chowder to bring back home because I love clam chowder. They gave me a good size portion and it blended up perfectly that night.

The next day was beach day! Couldn't have asked for better weather. We brought our dog for the week. This was Aspen's first time seeing the ocean. He seemed pretty underwhelmed by the experience, but I guess he doesn't get excited for much. Compare this to our dog, Lilly, who we used to take to the beach when we lived in California. She would go crazy, running up and down the bluffs and attacking every wave that dared crash on the shore.

You'll notice in the picture below that Aspen doesn't have a leash. We figured it's a small island; there's no place he could go where we wouldn't eventually find him, right? This proved to be the case, though we lost him twice and it gave us a scare both times. The first time, I was walking down the beach looking in vain for sand dollars. The dog was slowly following me one minute and the next time I look back, he's gone. We start frantically looking everywhere. Did he find a shady spot by the dunes? Did he wander back among the dunes toward the highway? How do you loose an enormous white dog?? Turns out, Aspen once again proved he was smarter than us. I guess he got bored with the beach because we found him laying down by the car waiting to leave.

The second time we lost the dog was while we were out eating. We left Aspen in the house's screened-in-porch with a big bowl of water and dish of food, forgetting to latch the door that led outside. When we got back home, the door was open and no dog in sight. Betsy takes off down the street and asks everyone she meets if they've seen him. He has a collar with our cell number on it, but our phones have no service on the island so we're imaging people trying to reach us to say he's been hit by a car or terrorizing the neighborhood. Eventually, Betsy hears the distant sound of screaming kids at play, walks down to the island's only school and finds Aspen sitting serenely under a shady tree with kids all around him. All we had to remember is that our dog loves children and we would've found him right away.

Turns out they are really serious about keeping your dogs on a leash there and I guess the fine is pretty steep. We got away with it because we were there before the summer season kicked in. Of course now some Ocracoke official is reading this blog and has decided to mail me a ticket because I'm an idiot and just admitted to breaking the law online. If that's the case, please contact Katie Phillips ("Hey Brian, watcha doin") in Lawrenceville, GA, and she'll handle our debt.

One of the sand dunes is actually a large dog

My entire mission this trip was to find a perfect sand dollar on the beach. Grace and I walked up and down that beautiful, empty stretch of sand, but were unable to get more than pieces of sand dollars. The next day, we tried a different section of the island and I finally found a small, sad looking sand dollar. It looked pretty ragged, but it was in one piece so we set it aside and swore to keep looking for a better specimen.

I decided there must be an army of beachcombers who stalked the shores at sunrise and took all the prize sand dollars and conch shells before the rest of us got up. I convinced Grace to get up with me in the dark the next day so we could get a jump on all the professional shell collectors. For some reason, Betsy opted to stay in bed.

So, here's the best thing that happened on that early morning venture:

Beautiful sunrise, but no beachcombers or shells in sight

Otherwise, no luck on Operation Sand Dollar. It will have to wait for another Ocracoke trip. Another thing Betsy and I wanted to do on this trip is renew our wedding vows. We renew them every year on our anniversary. It's in February, but we decided to wait until March this year because we wanted to get married on the beach.

Aspen sure does lie around a lot doesn't he?

Grace once again officiated the ceremony and did a fantastic job.

You're probably impressed she can fit in that dress, but it's completely unzipped in the back

Another place that was open before the busy tourist season was the Ocracoke Bar and Grill. They had great ambiance, with seating outside on their deck and a surfing competition on the TV. They also had tasty cocktails, apparently. Betsy wouldn't be able to put up with me without cocktails.

"There isn't enough alcohol in the world."

They kindly let me set up my Vitamix in the dining area, so I mixed up one of their Barbeque Burgers while Betsy inebriated herself.

The barbecue burger was excellent

It was a great place to eat. The staff was extremely friendly and the food looked and smelled delicious.

Nothing beats having a burger in my stomach

We also ate at another great restaurant called Gaffer's Sports Pub. Again, we encountered fantastic waitstaff who were completely understanding of my need to blend my meal. One of the problems with waiting several weeks to write a blog post is that I sometimes forget exactly what I eat, unless I take the time to write it down. So, I have to confess that I can't remember what I had at Gaffer's, but I think it was their stuffed flounder with a side of asparagus.

Whatever it was, it was delicious

Betsy really wanted to try horseback riding on the beach so we went for a fairly short, hour long ride. The weather was beautiful and I enjoyed it, though I must admit that having someone walking beside the horse leading it the whole time was kinda lame (they did that for me because they were afraid I'd fall). After our ride, we met one of the owners of a local Bed & Breakfast, Pam's Pelican. He mentioned that he was a crop-duster pilot and he often flew his plane from the airfield up the road. He said he'd give us a FREE ride the next morning if we were up for it!!! I suspected he was just being nice because he'd already had several beers and he drawled, "I love you guys, man!!" before we left them. Maybe it was just the alcohol talking? We drove down to his B&B the next morning to see if he remembered us and he was all set to go! I brought him a case of beer--a currency that likely hasn't changed since the days of Blackbeard--and he promised not to drink until we landed. We drove he and his dog, Molly, down to the airstrip, hardly believing our good fortune. 

Too bad Aspen couldn't fit in there. He'd probably just lay down and sleep though.

Molly dutifully climbed into the cockpit of his prop plane, then the rest of us piled in, and we were up in the air in no time. It was INCREDIBLE!! Unlimited visibility. We circled the town and cruised down the coast, soaring along an unpopulated island to the south.

Taken shortly before Betsy pushed me out

The coolest part was, he let me do most of the flying!!

Finally got to practice the Immelman maneuver I learned at the Academy

Grace was pretty freaked out that daddy was flying the plane, but it was too noisy in there to hear her screams for help so who cares?

Molly photobomb

My one regret is that I didn't tubefeed during the flight. Sure I've eaten meals on airplanes, but is there anyone who's tubefed while they were flying the plane?? A real missed opportunity. If there are any pilots in the Knoxville area who want to let me fly their expensive plane while tubefeeding, please contact me. I promise to not spill too much of my blend in the cockpit.

We also had dinner at a place called Jason's Restaurant. One of the foods I miss from when I could eat by mouth is crab cakes. They combine two of my favorite foods: crab and cake. Every time I'm anywhere close to the ocean, I take the opportunity to order crab cakes at least once. I got my chance at Jason's Restaurant.

Mmmmmmm...crab cakes...

I guess it's a popular place because even though it was before the tourist season, Jason's was really crowded. Even though they were extremely busy, the staff at Jason's were awesome. Jason, himself, came out to visit and make sure they'd gotten my order right. I took the opportunity to get a fan photo with him:

They also serve some good sushi...hence the t-shirt

We tried taking a much longer ferry ride on the way home. Our ferry to the island, from Hatteras to Ocracoke, was about an hour. The ferry to the mainland--across the Pamlico Sound to the town of Swan Quarter--is two and a half hours. The boat is much bigger, with a larger dining area. Unfortunately, it was cold and overcast with a strong breeze so it wasn't a great time for standing outside looking at the scenery. 

We passed through Plymouth on the way home and stopped at the Wendy's outside town for lunch. I had a blended meal I'd prepared the night before by blending a Real Food Blend with an avocado.

The horrible stench of the papermill in Plymouth really brought back fond memories

For dinner on the drive home, we stopped at an Outback steakhouse in Greensboro, NC. The manager, Mike, was so amazing; that guy definitely deserves a raise!! He was very understanding of my feeding tube, made doubly sure his waitstaff and chefs understood how I wanted my meal blended, PLUS he gave us a bunch of money off our bill. I guess he felt bad for me because of the way I eat, and I am not above playing the sympathy card if somebody offers to buy my dinner. I have no shame.

Thanks for being so supportive of my tubefeeding, Mike!!!

I had tilapia stuffed with crab. I think I satisfied my crab cravings on this trip, but I can already feel them start to come back. I might be as crazy about crab as Betsy is....nah, nobody's that crazy.

Only 5 more hours of driving left! Yippee!

I'm a guinea pig

I have two exciting things to share about Real Food Blends!! I swear they don't pay me to talk about them; I just really like their product. However, they DO let me try out some of their new meals before they start selling them to the general public. Or another way of looking at it is, they experiment on me to see if their latest inventions cause my stomach to explode, or perhaps cause a mutant alien life form to incubate in my belly (this only happened that one time).

Their latest concoction was a powdered breakfast blend, so I took the opportunity to have it on a ferry on the way to the North Carolina Outer Banks.

And now I've tube-fed on a boat. My life is complete

They've made a breakfast blend with egg, sweet potato, avocado, and apple, only this time the meal is in powdered form. I loved this meal for a lot of reasons. For one thing, it's 540 calories per blend, which is much more of an adult-size portion for me. Also, I can see it coming in very handy while traveling, particularly on flights or when I'm hiking. Plus, they are less expensive than RFB's three other meals. And what's not to love about the ingredients?? Avocados, sweet potatoes, eggs, and apples are all foods I put in my blends constantly.

Once again, no crazy ingredients; exactly what the title says

Preparing the blend was easy. We added the powder to a blender bottle with 16 ounces of water, shook vigorously for a while, and it was ready to go. In hindsight, I think I'll bring along one of the metal oscillators that came with the blender bottles because there were still a couple clumps that were harder to push through my tube. Otherwise it went in really smoothly and filled me up that morning. I can't wait until these meals are back in stock so I can buy them by the case (*hint* Christmas/birthday gift idea *hint*)!!

Just a man and his blender bottle

The second piece of Real Food Blend news concerns my insurance. I hesitate to come out and say this because my insurance might change their minds at the last minute, but it's looking "More Probable Than Not" (#deflategate reference) that my insurance will pay for me to get Real Food Blends!!!!!! I've been calling and calling, but haven't had any luck with the DMEs (Durable Medical Equipment--the companies that provide medical supplies, including equipment for tube feeders) in the Knoxville area. Knoxville is a "Competitive Bidding Area," according to Medicare, which I would think opens us up to an unlimited number of DMEs to provide our enteral feeding equipment. Instead, this means that there is a relatively short list of 13 DMEs for me to choose from. The list does not include the DME that everyone else in Tennessee can use to get their Real Food Blends (Reeves-Sain Infusion).

Since I started trying to get my insurance to pay for Real Food Blends last year, the DMEs have all refused to recognize RFB as an approved enteral formula. They only approve the crappy formula that makes me nauseous, like Ensure, TwoCal, and Jevity. For the third time in the past year, I called Adult Pediatric Specialists to ask if they would give me Real Food Blends. Adult Pediatric Specialists is the company that one of my approved DMEs, Lincare, uses for feeding tube supplies. I know this is confusing, but this is the simplified version. Long story short - Adult Pediatric Specialists said they can supply Real Food Blends through Medicare!!!!!

They've talked to my doctor and gotten all my information. It looks like I should start getting the meals by the end of the month, but I won't really start celebrating until I get that first package in the mail. I can still foresee getting a phone call from some DME bureaucrat saying, "Sorry Mr. Liebenow, but it turns out anyone with more than 7 letters in their last name isn't covered for enteral nutrition. Please change your name to 'Doofus' immediately." As soon as I get my very first, insurance-provided, RFB, I'll post a picture on here.