SWEDEN!!!

I'm leaving for Sweden in LESS THAN ONE WEEK!!!

Ok, it's been a while since I wrote a post, so let me get you up to speed.

I'm still alive (obviously). I'm getting better at my prosthetic arm. In fact I took it fishing just a few weeks ago, but the first fish I caught jerked my fishing pole out of my prosthetic and swam off with it. So, now there is a fish swimming around this lake in Georgia with a $20 fishing pole trailing behind it. Oh man, that reminds me of the most hilarious thing that happened--

AH THERE'S NO TIME FOR THIS!! I'M LEAVING FOR SWEDEN IN LESS THAN ONE WEEK!!!!

"Why Sweden?" you ask. Our daughter, who is now 11 and has stinky feet, plays soccer. Or, if you're reading the blog outside the U.S., (hello, Russian bots), she plays a sport called, "WHO CARES WHAT YOU CALL  IT! IT'S SOCCER OK?? SOCCER!!!

You think they'll allow my vuvuzela at the games?

Anyway, her coach is Swedish and he and his wife are originally from a lovely town on the southwest coast (Varberg). He entered our team into an international soccer tournament called the Gothia Cup, which takes place in Gothenburg. Gothenburg is right up the road from Varberg. This is fantastic because he has set the family of each team member up with a host family in Varberg and we only have a short train ride to get to each game. So, I don't need to worry about blending my meals in a cramped Swedish hotel room. Instead, I have access to the lovely kitchen of our poor, unsuspecting host family, who have no idea, a) how loud a Vitamixer on high can get, and b) how stinky my daughter's feet are. They are like, next level smelly. After a soccer game, you do not want to be in the same living space as those feet.

So, I'm packing for Sweden and I have some concerns. Well...one rather heavy concern. If you're an avid reader of my blog, then you've been extremely bored for the past couple years because I've written NOTHING. You also may recall that I took a trip to Germany in late 2015. I also did it in 2009, I think? So I have some experience traveling in Europe with a feeding tube. There are some slight differences this time though. My sister, who has a stinky butt, lives in Germany with her family and my mom, who is much cooler than your mom. She also has her own Vitamixer, which plugs into European 220 Volt outlets. Having family close by was my security blanket for foreign travel. But unfortunately, my stinky-butt sister and cool mom will not be able to meet us in Sweden during our time there. So, I have to take my own Vitamix and I also need a transformer to convert the electricity to the blender from Europe's 220 Volts to 110 Volts. Not just any transformer either. My Vitamix can get up over 1,300 Watts, so I need at least a 1,500 Watt transformer--ideally 3,000 Watt--to handle the awesome power of the blender's whirling blades. So, I went ahead and ordered this transformer:

Not Actual Size

That transformer doesn't look too big right? We even misread the page on Amazon and thought it was only 12 pounds. The reality is, that sucker is filled with lead and weighs about 30 pounds. How are we supposed to pack it, along with the many outfits I will need, the single outfit I'll allow Betsy to bring, and extra socks for my stinky-feet daughter??

Also, what if this thing doesn't work? How can I test a transformer that only plugs into 220 Volt outlets in the U.S.? It might overload the electrical system of our poor host family's house. It might not work, so I'll be stuck buying a transformer in Sweden, which is twice as expensive. Or if I have no transformer and thus no Vitamix, I could go on a starvation diet with the Real Food Blends I'm bringing. We did have the foresight to ship a couple boxes of Real Food Blends to our poor, unsuspecting host family. But I will still only have enough Real Food Blends for one meal a day, sometimes two. I really need blended meals with the Vitamix to supplement the RFBs. I also really want to try this fermented sea herring called Surströmming that I've heard so much about.

MMMMMMMMM!! Tasty, right?

Since I can't taste anything, I figure I can blend up a few cans of that stuff a day, but I really need my Vitamix to make my Surströmming dream a reality. 

Another potential issue we may have (there are many) is the World Cup. Sweden is still in the World Cup (go Sweden!). This is awesome, but also a little scary because we are taking a train from Copenhagen, Denmark, up to Varberg on the day of the final game. So if Sweden reaches the final, then it'll be a crazy time to try to get in the country. Sports analysts haven't given Sweden the best chance of beating England, then taking out either Russia or Croatia to make it to the final game. However, this World Cup has been pretty crazy (Spain, Argentina, Portugal, AND GERMANY have all been eliminated??), so I don't think you can count anybody out. The next game is this Saturday against England.

Go Sweden!! Beat those bloody English bastards!!!