One is the Loneliest Number

Vivek Murthy, former US Surgeon General, says loneliness decreases our lifespan as much as if we smoked 15 cigarettes a day. It can be more harmful than obesity. “Loneliness,” Murthy said in a Forbes interview, “is also associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, depression, and anxiety.” A study by The Economist magazine and the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 9% of adults in Japan, 22% in America and 23% in Britain always or often feel lonely, or lack companionship, or else feel left out or isolated. I recently volunteered for Meals on Wheels, delivering hot meals to elderly people in our local community. So many of the people I saw on my routes were alone. I was likely the only human contact they would have all day (terribly sorry about that; hopefully you had someone better the next day). Some of them talked my ear off as though they had all these words bottled up and were just waiting for someone to listen. 

In addition to the elderly, those who are disabled often suffer from this epidemic of loneliness. According to a British advocacy group, half of the UK’s disabled are lonely. I haven’t seen exact figures for the US, but I imagine they are similar. If it weren’t for my wife and daughter, I’m certain I could count myself as socially isolated. I’m an introvert and still find it uncomfortable to eat in public. I’m also having a harder time making myself understood, especially in loud spaces. In August, I was interviewed for a news story about Real Food Blends. I couldn’t figure out how to insert the video into the blog, but you can watch it from any Scripps station website, like Denver’s ABC affiliate. You’ll notice that they decided to subtitle me. My lips and tongue don’t have the dexterity to enunciate words. Also, I can’t get through a full sentence without needing to take a breath. 

Another thing that makes it hard for me to be out in public is my gastroparesis. With gastroparesis, I have to lie down to vent my tube almost hourly when I’m out and this can be awkward, especially if I’m at a concert or sporting event. I’m much more averse to going out now. I look at it like exercise; something I have to regularly suffer through because it’s good for my health. Actually, I’m luckier than a lot of disabled people out there. Having a child forces me to go out in public because I have to be there for my daughter’s soccer, volleyball, basketball, and softball games (watching softball sucks). And if Betsy wasn’t always encouraging me to take part in the community, I’m sure I’d be sitting on the couch reading all the time. I am fortunate to be surrounded by family (sometimes not so fortunate, depending on what the in-laws are doing), and I’m lucky to be ambulatory. There are so many lonely disabled people out there. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it is to date with a feeding tube. There are tubies who are hooked up to a pump for hours at a time. Tubies who can’t talk at all; who can’t express how it is to get food into our bodies. If you’re living alone with a feeding tube, who will be there if you have a clog? Who can help you change your tube? Who can take you to the doctor? There is no one to force you to go out in public, to make you connect with your community, and this only exacerbates your health problems.

There is a Simpson's clip for every occasion

I traveled to Winston Salem, NC, to a conference for work last week. I was with one of my co-workers, and I didn’t have any health issues or problems with my tube during the trip. I brought some blended meals for my breakfasts and Real Food Blends for the rest of my meals. This was good because I didn’t need to worry about going out with my blender by myself. Yet I could see that if I lived by myself, this could all too easily become my life. No reason to go out in public, so I just stay in every day for fear of tube feeding in public or not being understood. 

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Last year, Britain actually created the world’s first Minister for Loneliness to address the issue. At the time, there were a few jokes made about the position:

But good on the UK for confronting the scourge of social isolation. More communities in the US are starting to try different methods like Miami-based Papa, which offers “Grandkids on Demand,” where you sign up to have college-aged kids come over for companionship and help with general tasks. But we could be doing so much more than these piece-meal approaches. If you have the means, I humbly beseech you to please get in touch with your neighbors. Not the ones who are out every day. Please don’t overlook the elderly, the disabled, the immigrants in your community who for one reason or another have minimal human contact. 

And if you’re by yourself reading this, I can’t tell you it’s going to be ok because sometimes it’s not. I can’t tell you tomorrow will be better than today was. But you are not alone. Please reach out. The world isn’t as cold and uncaring as you think. For one thing, we have mankind’s greatest achievement: the dog.

Apollo  scored 13/10 on @dog_rates

Indy and Luna scored 13/10 on @dog_rates

Bassie scored 14/10 on @dog_rates

Duke scored 13/10 on @dog_rates

Ouyu and Miyu scored 14/10 on @dog_rates

Maggie was shot 17 times and had her ear cut off before she was rescued. Now she’s a @dog_rates 15/10

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

1-800-273-8255

Anxiety and Depression Association of America

www.adaa.org

HelpGuide

www.helpguide.org

National Institute of Mental Health

www.nimh.nih.gov

Find a Therapist—Psychology Today

www.therapists.psychologytoday.com

MindShift App

www.anxietybc.com

I.O.W.A.

Last week, I visited my friend, Dave, in Iowa. I don’t want to bring up bad blood or state rivalries here but while Iowans sing the praises of their fine state, my wife—who grew up in Minnesota—insists that IOWA stands for Idiots Out Wandering Around. Again, I’m not trying to instigate conflict. I don’t want my blog blamed for the future war that erupts between these two mid-western states. All I’m saying is, Iowa, if you’re reading this, the people of Minnesota all think you’re a bunch of morons.

Some of the highlights from my relationship with Dave: We’ve known each other for over 25 years. We were college roommates. We got yelled at quite a bit by upperclassmen. We marched a lot of tours together. I’ve become close with Dave’s family and high school friends in Denver over the years. Dave is the kind of friend you don’t lose touch with as years go by, no matter how much distance there is between you. Dave was the best man at my wedding. When I got cancer, Dave shaved his head and flew out to be with me during my chemo treatments. When I had a 13 hour surgery on my jaw, Dave spent the day keeping Betsy company, even though he was in the middle of medical school. Dave is the guy who will drop everything to help out, no matter how much he might be going through personally. 

May 27, 1998. Who'd have guessed that one of these gentlemen would make positive contributions to society?

So now Dave is a doctor at a hospital in Cedar Rapids. Despite what his patients and colleagues told me (and the many malpractice lawsuits), I think he’s a very good doctor. Did that sound bad? What I mean is, if you happen to be in the St. Luke's emergency room in Cedar Rapids, you could do a lot worse than Dr. Baumgartner. Probably. I mean, you're not over at the Mercy ER, right? His wife, Claire, works in palliative care at the same hospital. She is an excellent doctor and sometimes she’s not embarrassed to be seen with her husband. I told Dave I’m doing some part time work for a company that is trying to improve social determinants of health (like food insecurity and social isolation) in East Tennessee. I visited Dave and Claire to see how they deal with social determinants at their hospital. 

I know my current job—Truck2Table and Synergasia Health Tech—doesn’t directly affect the tube feeding community, but I think it’s closely related. I have a strong belief that all tubies deserve to have real food, not canned formula. In the same way, I think people in poverty or those who live in food deserts deserve healthy food, not fast food meals or whatever they find at the Dollar store. These are not dynamic ideas and they could save our medical system billions of dollars in health costs. People across the country are recognizing this, even the idiots—I mean the fine people—of Iowa.

Speaking of healthy food, check out the massive cookie the Big Grove Brewery in Iowa City gave Betsy for free!

It's always nice when we travel somewhere to stay at a friend's house, rather than a hotel room. So much easier use their kitchen and clean the blender after meals, as opposed to blending my meal in a cramped hotel room. Plus, we didn't destroy their house too much, so I think they won't mind if we visit again.

It was also nice to have help when we opened the suitcase that I carry my Vitamixer and Real Food Blend meals in and discovered that one of my RFB bags had popped and spilled all over the inside of the bag. This has never happened before in all the years I've traveled so of course it was a salmon meal that spilled everywhere. Betsy was ready to give up and go out to buy a new bag, but Dave got it all cleaned out for us.

We've lost some hair and an arm, but otherwise we look the same

Iowa City, where Dave and Claire live, is a really cool college town. We went out to eat at One Twenty Six, a very nice restaurant at the downtown pedestrian mall. I had lamb chops with Brussel sprouts and they blended my meal perfectly. Betsy had steak and said it "melted in her mouth."

Dave and I were able to play 9 holes of golf before our flight home, so I got to try out my adaptive glove for one-armed golfers. It actually worked out pretty well, and I plan to join the PGA tour soon.

I’m joking. The glove was awesome but I remain a horrible golfer and an outstanding golf cart driver.

Look at that perfect form!!

The flight home from Iowa was pretty hectic. We had a connection in Charlotte, but our plane couldn’t immediately land because of storms. Then, the flight home got delayed and Betsy and I ended up getting bumped off the flight because it was overbooked (thanks, American). We did get free $500 vouchers for future flights so it wasn’t all bad but they were telling us we might not get a flight out of Charlotte until the next night. I only had two Real Food Blends left so the Vitamixer would have to sustain me.

That Real Food Blend in Charlotte really hit the spot!!! Have I mentioned how great it is to travel with RFB??

Fortunately, we were lucky enough to get standby seats on the last flight out of Charlotte. Instead of getting back to Knoxville at 7:00 PM, we arrived home at 11:30, but at least we made it home.

I know I've been horrible about blogging. I have gastroparesis (that will have to be a whole other blog post) and it's really taken a toll on my motivation for writing. I will try to be better about it in the future!