I want to live in Sweden

Yep, I'm ready to move to Sweden. I've been told that the weather is not always perfect, like it was when we were there. Also, daylight doesn't always last for 18 hours at that latitude. Plus, mosquitoes might form dark, apocalyptic clouds away from the coast of Sweden--like we see in Minnesota and large swaths of Alaska. But I'm undaunted. Sweden is the place for me. I'm a Swede. Change my name to Björn Liebensson. We had such a magical week there that I struggle to put it into words. So, let me flounder along chronologically.

We did make a stop in New York on our way to Europe because we wanted to break up the trip and see the Statue of Liberty. For the past few months, I've had some issues with needing to vent my tube three or four times a day. Venting is something that a lot of small children with tubes have to do. It's a way of eliminating bloating in the stomach by lying back, opening the tube and just letting the pent up air escape. In the 10 years I've had a tube, I've never had to do this, and we still can't figure out why things are different now. It made my trip extremely awkward at times, like when I had to lie down in the grass at the base of the Statue of Liberty so I could vent:

Isn't there a joke here about the huddled masses in my stomach yearning to breathe free?

Definitely got a lot of stares from people looking at the guy with the volcano spurting out of his belly, but I certainly wasn't the freakiest looking thing in Manhattan. Have you walked around Times Square?

We have reached peak photobomb

We stayed in the garment district in Manhattan at the Kimpton Hotel on the advice of a friend (Thanks Cat!). Betsy and Grace are huge fans of the fashion show Project Runway, so we went to Mood to look at every type of fabric you could imagine and meet their most famous employee, Swatch.

We got to touch him!!!!

While the girls shopped, I watched England play Croatia on their TV with a bunch of other dudes. Julio ruined the game for all of us when he said Croatia was going to score in overtime minutes before it happened on TV because he was getting live results on his phone while the TV broadcast had a delay. So, what could be more 'New York' than hearing a bunch of people of all races and sexual orientations yell, "Fuck You, Julio!!" then riding an elevator down to 37th street with Swatch so he could go potty?

Way cooler to get your picture with this girl than the bull in front of her

After our brief stop in New York, it was time to Uber to Newark Airport so we could catch an 11:30 PM flight to Copenhagen.

Betsy was asleep already

Real Food Blends were a huge source of food for me throughout my time away from home. I packed some along in my suitcase and shipped more to our host family. I ended up having too many meals, but I'd much rather have too many than too few. On the plane, I preferred to eat salmon meals because those have the smoothest consistency.

Happy times before we got salmon on Betsy's shirt

Of course, part of being a tubie is that accidents always happen, usually at the worst possible time.

Steady...Steady....

In this case, I left the valve that opens my tube in the 'closed' position and the very aromatic Salmon, Oats, and Squash meal spurted out onto Betsy's shirt. This was early into an 8-hour flight, so Betsy had to suffer with a smelly, damp shirt in a cramped seat next to her smelly husband and her daughter's smelly feet. This is the price all caregivers must make. I wanted to take another picture to capture this tragedy, but wisely deduced that this would lead to Betsy dumping the rest of my meal over my head.

So, yeah, salmon meals are the easiest to eat, just don't make any spills.

After the hurried chaos of New York, Copenhagen was this neat, orderly city where everyone was biking, or out on the water, or just hanging out with some beers at a park (it's ridiculously expensive to drink in restaurants so people usually go to the liquor store and drink outside). We met up with another family from our team and watched the sunset from a canal right outside our hotel.

Everybody confuses Grace with Nathalie during games, even their parents

The next day was a whole lot of walking. One of the first things we did was climb the tower at the Church of our Savior, which was completed in 1752.

Definitely wasn't thinking about '1752' when I was climbing

400 steps to the top, with the last 150 outside. Stunning views of the city; really one of those things you have to see if you visit the city. Just not if you're especially afraid of heights.

My European Vitamix was waiting for me in Sweden, so I was still eating six Real Food Blends a day. Very convenient to have, but I was jealous of all the good food everyone else got to try. I did manage to drink a local hard cider with my lunch at a large open air dining area outside Nyhavn canal.

That's the good stuff

Of course, no trip to Copenhagen is complete until you've gotten a picture with the Little Mermaid Statue. I guess I'd read and heard so much about how tiny the statue is that when I was confronted with it, I thought she was pretty big.

HUGE!!!

Another opportunity I had to eat something other than Real Food Blends was when I got a smoothie at Coffee Industry Sweden. In the same way southern towns like Knoxville have a church on every corner, Copenhagen seemed to have a coffee shop on every corner. They even had these mobile coffee carts on bikes because the only thing Danish people are crazy about more than coffee is biking. One of the many coffee franchises in Copenhagen--other than Starbucks--was Coffee Industry Sweden, and they blended up a mango smoothie especially for my tube.

Gave me just enough energy to crawl back to the hotel room after our eight mile walk

One of the many reasons I love Europe is that you can hop on a train and travel anywhere. We took a beautiful 3-hour train ride from Copenhagen, across the Öresund (the strait separating Denmark from Sweden), and up the coast to Varberg. 

They're smiling because we filled them up on crepes and Danish pastries

Like I said before, the weather on our trip was absolutely perfect (with the exception of one hellish lightning storm which I will discuss later). Temperatures in the 70s during the day, and cooling off into the mid-50s at night. I think this really painted Sweden in the best possible light for me because temperatures back home in Knoxville were hovering around 150 degrees with 500 percent humidity (only a slight exaggeration). Varberg, Sweden is this picturesque coastal town with zero crime and bike paths connecting everything. While the Swedish people are not noted for their overt friendliness to strangers out in public, local cats made up for this by greeting me wherever I went.

Swedish cats eat nothing but pickled herring

I only included that picture because when we told our coach's wife (who is Swedish) about it, she looked at me like I'm an idiot and said, "We have cats in America." Yes, there are cats in the U.S. but walking outside in this perfectly orderly country in beautiful weather, with birds singing merrily from the trees and animals coming up to nuzzle at my leg, I felt like I was in a Disney movie. Except both my parents are alive so...happier than a Disney movie? I know winters are dark and cold and rain is far more common than sunshine, but cats were greeting me everywhere!

While we were in Sweden, we often found time to ride bikes or take the bus down to the beach to see the sunset. Since that didn't happen until 9:30PM and we usually stayed out much later drinking with our host families and friends we usually stayed up until past midnight.

Wine at sunset on the North Sea!!

Speaking of host families, we definitely had the best one, by far. Since their two girls (Age 7 months and 3 years) both slept in their parents' bed, they let us use the entire second floor of their house!!! They had an awesome French bulldog who loved to snore and fart in Grace's bed at night. Plus we watched a ton of episodes of Paw Patrol and Dora the Explorer in Swedish and Ellen's (the 3 year-old) favorite movie, Frozen, which is way better in Swedish and extremely amusing to see in Finnish, Norwegian, and Danish. Seriously, they really gave us a home away from home and we were so fortunate to have them.

They called Charlie "Little Pig" in Swedish (forgot the words?) because of how much he snorts and farts

I mentioned in a past blog that my sister, who has a stinky butt, shipped her European Vitamix blender to Sweden so I could use it. It was SO helpful to have that blender there!!! Thank you, Ginger!!! Please don't beat me up next month for constantly saying you have a stinky butt!! I didn't need to worry about packing my own blender, or the heavy 3,000Watt converter I would need to use it in the European 220Volt outlets. I could set up in our host family's kitchen and blend my meals every day. The only downside was that our poor host family had to contend with the noisy blender. By the end of our time there, their 7 month-old daughter still hadn't said her first word, but she was making noises mimicking the sound of the Vitamix. So, you're welcome for that. Sara and Andreas, if you'd like, we can record the sound of my blender and send it as a Christmas gift and maybe it will help put the girls to sleep at night.

And now Grace wants a French Bulldog; preferably if he farts and snorts

And Betsy wants a baby; preferably a perfect baby like Agnus

Despite my firm belief that the world revolves around me, this trip was really about Grace and her soccer team in the Gothia Cup. The night we arrived, we got in the soccer spirit by going into town and watching the World Cup final on a big screen with a lot of the locals, including many Croatians who immigrated to Sweden in the 90s because of the Balkan War. They were a bit disappointed because of the final score of the game, but I think they got over it by drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

Here we are during the end of the second half

The next day, the girls took a 20 minute train ride up to their first game. They played a Swedish team who were supposedly the same age, but they were a head taller than our girls, so I think they eat differently in Sweden or something. The game was closer than I thought it would be, but we lost 2-0.

We tried to sneak some of the boys on the team, but it didn't fly

The girls all behaved really well during the trip. It is an experience they will never forget, and I think it brought them all closer together.

Grace and Claire, who competed for the 'Smelliest Feet' prize. It was too close to call.

After the game, we traveled up to Gothenburg for the opening ceremonies of the games. They were incredible. It's like how I imagine it would be to attend the opening ceremonies for the Olympics, but more positive and uplifting. The girls were in their own section in a huge stadium that Sweden built when they hosted the FIFA World Cup in 1958. Local Swedish singers put on an amazing show. Here are some highlights from one of the singers, 17 year-old Hanna Ferm:

Hanna Ferm - Gothia Cup 2018

And this was one of our favorite parts of the ceremony, when a Swedish girl not much older than Grace gave this incredible performance:

Gothia Cup Opening Ceremony 2018 with Saga Ludvigsson

The fireworks at the end, right after the sun set, were stunning:

Gothia Cup 2018 Opening Ceremony Fireworks

It was just a huge, multi-cultural party with 79 countries represented and about 1,700 teams.

Luckily, Grace wasn't sitting with us so she didn't have to see us dance

Right after the ceremony, a huge lightning storm sprang up right overhead. Rain dumped down on us and it was total chaos trying to make our way back to the train station. All the parents were scattered everywhere with thousands of people running every which way speaking dozens of different languages. We were separated from our girls but they all held hands and marched to the train station in perfect orderly fashion while their parents were moaning with terror in the streets, praying to the Norse gods for an end to the madness.

The second day brought another game. This time against a really good team from Stockholm.

Action shot of Grace that was shared on the AYSO United Facebook page

This game was our toughest loss of the tournament. Afterwards, we naturally had to stop at the Swedish liquor store so we could drown our sorrows. The team was forced to wait outside.

"Yay! Mommy and Daddy are alcoholics!"

I think the coolest thing that happened in the tournament was the third game. Grace played against a team from Gothenburg. We were talking to one of the parents and it turned out that she adopted her daughter from China too!!! I think the parents were much more excited about this than the girls, but it was so neat to get a picture of them together after the game.

"Why are you making me stand next to this Swedish girl for a picture??"

We had lots of time before and after the games to go to the beach and do some sightseeing around Varberg. The girls would've spent every moment at the beach if they could.

The water was cold, but not as cold as I thought it would be

We toured a fortress on the water that was first built in the 13th century and upgraded several times during Sweden's never-ending conflicts with Denmark.

According to Wikipedia, the moat of the fortress has a small monster in it. In 2006, two people saw it devouring a duck.

We had an awesome tour guide who kept the girls interested by sharing amazing facts like how the prison cell was packed with 30-50 men. Their feces were only cleaned out once a year so it wasn't uncommon for men to drown in their own shit. Isn't history fun?

Wearing the watch men commonly wore in the 13th century

After traumatizing Grace in a medieval fortress, I think she got her revenge by 'accidentally' dropping a knife on my foot.

The cut looks pretty benign here but I think it was life-threatening

We were in the kitchen cutting avocados and the knife slipped off the counter and impaled the base of my toe. While I screamed in pain and told Grace that she'd just murdered her father, Sara (from our host family) calmly tried to staunch the flow of blood all over her kitchen floor. Unfortunately, we couldn't stop the bleeding so we put a large compress over the cut. This happened right before we were supposed to get on a train for Grace's final soccer game in the tournament. I was extremely disappointed, but it was decided that I should try to stay off my feet for the rest of the day and remain at home.

The worst part is that this game was their best of the tournament. They were tied at the end and had to go to a penalty shootout. After the first 5 penalty kicks, they were still tied and had to shoot five more. The other team ended up winning by one point, and I missed all of it because of a stupid cut on my foot.

While Grace and her team were playing in their exciting final game, Andreas put me and Agnus in this cool electric bike he rented and rode me all around Varberg so I could see the town. Varberg has an excellent bus system, but many people opt to take their intricate network of bike paths to get around town. Andreas told me it took 30 years to build up their maze of bike trails and make Varberg the friendly bike community it is. So, while Knoxville has just a few measly greenways for biking right now, I'm hoping that in 30 years time we will have a system of bike trails to rival Varberg, Sweden.

Andreas was an excellent biker and expertly steered me around town with ease. Then, it was Betsy's turn to try to bike me around Varberg.

You'd think it would be hard to tip over, but you haven't seen Betsy drive

The problem is that the bike has electrical assistance so when you get lost in the maze of bike paths and want to turn around, it's easy to misjudge the speed and turn radius and tip the bike. Or go into a ditch.

Yes, she took the picture while I was still in the bike

We went to one party at a host family's house far outside town. It was really beautiful bike riding out in the country. It was a little more scary biking back with Grace and I crammed in the front seat and Betsy trying to find our way home in the dark. We got turned around several times. Actually, I should admit that I got turned around several times. I kept insisting that Betsy go a different way because I was certain I knew where we were. At one point, she tried to turn the bike around and we tipped over. It didn't hurt me at all because Grace broke my fall. Grace was pretty miserable, and I'm not sure we'll ever get her into one of those bikes again.

There was a fair amount of drinking by the parents during this trip, but the most inebriated I got was when I had to change the bandage on my toe. My left foot is extremely sensitive compared to my right foot because of the radiation damage to my spinal cord, so I don't like anyone messing with it. So, before I'd let anyone go near it, I self-medicated with Swedish schnapps.

I'm smiling to hide the pain

Bottom's up

I'd have Agnus do open-heart surgery before I'd let Betsy anywhere near my foot. I'm pretty certain Betsy would somehow end up amputating the other foot on accident. So, Andreas and Sara replaced my bandage while I sat in a drunken stupor on their back patio.

Andreas was extremely excited to use the first aid skills he learned in the Swedish army

This was such a fantastic trip for me. I did have this stomach issue of needing to vent periodically, and there was the fact that I injured my foot toward the end of the week. But, I had my blender for the wonderful home cooked meals from our host family. And I had plenty of Real Food Blends for all the times we were out and about. The weather was perfect and the Swedish community is wonderful. I am so fortunate we had our Swedish coach and our host family to get us around the area and provide a 'home base' for me to rest and prepare my meals. I think navigating a different country where we have no foreign connections would be much more of a challenge. We'd like to go to China one of these days to visit the town where Grace was born, but I would need to do a lot of research beforehand and at the very least hire a guide to help us out.

Smiles at the Copenhagen airport, even though we were so sad to leave Sweden

Newark airport...welcome to America

After every long trip. I come in the house and give our dog a huge hug, tearfully telling him how much I've missed him. Every time, I hope he will return my affection like Odysseus' dog, Argos, who immediately welcomed his master home after his 20-year struggle to make it back to Ithaca. Unlike faithful Argos, however, my dog usually just stands there looking at me, then walks away to take a nap.

He really doesn't give a shit

So, just for that, I'm trading the fat bastard in for a French Bulldog that farts and snorts like a little pig. What do you think of that, you fat bastard!! Nope, he's not even looking at me. He really doesn't care.

FNCE 2015!

A TALE OF TWO FAMILIES

The Bombacino's

Julie and Tony Bombacino have two children.  Their youngest, A.J., is four years old.  He's been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, global developmental delays, autism and epilepsy.  Due to his condition, he is still unable to walk or communicate.  He also eats through a feeding tube.  When Julie first started feeding him at home, he couldn't tolerate any of the formulas his doctor prescribed.  So, she started blending all his meals up in a Vitamix.  This proved to be time consuming, but it worked, so the family endured.

Julie and A.J., who is also Superman

Then, on a family trip to Disney World, while spending most of her time blending food for her son, Julie had an idea.  What if there were commercial, shelf-stable blended meals for tube feeders?  Not formula; REAL food, with REAL ingredients like she blended at home!  Julie went through all the steps of starting a business: work with nutritionists and food scientists to develop meals and get them approved by the USDA, get investors and launch a crowdfunding (Indiegogo) campaign to raise money and awareness, find a factory in the U.S. that could mass produce each meal, develop a website and marketing campaign, and I've probably missed a few dozen more steps she went through. Around January, 2014, the Bombacino's dream became reality and the first Real Food Blends started shipping out to eager customers.

Coming next month in powdered form!

Fast forward to today.  Real Food Blends has grown dramatically.  The meals are approved by most insurance and starting to be accepted in hospitals.  A new meal is coming out next month (Turkey!). Julie and Tony are incredibly busy.  Meetings with insurance companies, hospitals, doctors, nutritionists, dietitians, and individual customers have them criss-crossing the country with little time for themselves.  On top of this, they still have to focus on A.J.  He still has seizures, still can't talk or walk.  They still need to bring him to see various specialists both near and far from their home in Indiana.  A.J. is the C.I.O. (Chief Inspiration Officer); they started this whole thing because of him. They pour so much love and support into their tube-fed son, and now they've taken on countless other tubie children and adults who rely on Real Food Blends for their nutrition.

Forget the meals; how do I get a Real Food Blends chef's coat??

The Liebenow's

Brian and Betsy Liebenow have one kid, Grace.  She's eight.  The other day, the couple were sitting on the couch watching T.V. when Grace called down from the kitchen:

"Mommy!" ...no response... "MMMOOOMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

"Yeah?!?"

"I'M HUNGRY!!!"

"Well, find something to eat!"

"WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING!!!"

"We've got lots of stuff. Have a granola bar!"

"I DON'T WANT A GRANOLA BAR."

"Keep looking!"

"MOMMY, MY TUMMY HURTS BECAUSE I'M SO HUNGRY!"

"Fine. I'll make you some ravioli. JUST LET US WATCH THIS SHOW!!"

I'd say one of these couples isn't putting the proper amount of effort into parenting.                 


                                                                                  

Early this month, Julie and Tony were in Nashville for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics' annual Food & Nutrition Conference & Expo (FNCE).  Nashville isn't too long of a drive from where we live, so Julie asked if they could take Betsy and I out to dinner one night.  We were thinking, YEAH, sounds great!  Free dinner and we can spend a Saturday night in the 'big city' away from the in-laws!  Ok, maybe it was just me thinking that last part, but I told Julie that it would be awesome to meet them and learn a little more about the company.

Then Julie said that since we were in town, maybe we'd like to stop by the Expo for the day on Sunday and spend some time at the Real Food Blends booth.  She also said Real Food Blends was willing to pay for our hotel room for the night.  This overnight stay is sounding better and better! The FNCE is where registered dietitian nutritionists, dietetic technicians as well as many researchers, educators, students, nurses, physicians, pharmacists, clinical and community dietetics professionals, consultants and food service managers from all over the country gather to learn about the latest trends in nutrition.  The Expo happens in a different city every year, and this year it was in a huge room at the Music City Center in Nashville.  The day we were there, over 11,000 people were in attendance.  It's kind of a big deal.

Saturday afternoon, Betsy and I left Grace on a street corner to fend for herself and drove over to Nashville.  We checked into our hotel room, then met Julie and Tony for dinner at Puckett's, a really popular barbecue restaurant a couple blocks from where we were staying.  Thankfully, Julie had reservations because this is one of those places where it is impossible to get a table on a Saturday night without reservations.  Like pretty much every other restaurant we've been to, the wait staff at Puckett's were very accommodating.  When the first table they showed us didn't fit my syringe holder, they let us take another one that was thin enough for me.  I ended up getting the BBQ patter with a mix of pork, chicken and brisket.  The meal included sweet potato fries, baked beans, and coleslaw, but I left off the fries so my blend wouldn't get too thick.  I also got a Peach Ice Tea (like a Long Island Ice Tea, but peachy) because Real Food Blends paid for my meal and if there's one thing I'm good at, it's being a freeloader.

Would've been a good pic, but a weird couple photobombed me

The next morning, Betsy and I walked to Music City Center to check out the Expo.  It was so fascinating to see!!  It's like going grocery shopping, if there were two people standing behind each item in the store explaining why it's such a healthy product.  All the big food companies were there. Betsy and I only walked around a little bit, but some of the booths I saw in no particular order:  Kellogg's, Monsanto, Abbott Nutrition (makers of Ensure), the Sugar Association (ironically, this was at the booth next to Real Food Blends), Dole Fruits, Blendtec (didn't see the Vitamix booth but they were there), Campbell Soup Company, Organic Valley, Chick-fil-A (one of the more popular booths), Dr Pepper Snapple Group, Gluten Intolerance Group of North America, Kikkoman Foods, Nestle, NutriBullet, PepsiCo, StarKist, the Wild Blueberry Association, the Cranberry Marketing Committee, Pfizer, and Sun-Maid.  This is just a fraction of the 380 exhibitors at the Expo and most of them were giving out free samples, so you could graze your way through the conference if you were so inclined. 

The best part of the day, by far, was sitting in the Real Foods Blend booth and watching Julie and Tony changing hearts and minds about eating blended food through feeding tubes. Like I said, there were thousands of health professionals in attendence and many of them (most?) had patients with feeding tubes or they were students preparing themselves to work with tubies.  This was the third year that Real Food Blends had a booth at FNCE, so there wasn't quite as much disbelief from attendents on feeding tubies real food, but there were still those who insisted that blended meals were "too unsanitary" to use in a hospital setting or didn't offer the "total nutrition" that Abbott Nutrition touts with their formula products.

Julie and Tony spreading the gospel of real food

"Who's that hot tubie model at the RFB booth??" -overheard at FNCE 2015

I especially enjoyed sitting in the booth while Betsy pushed a coffee and Salmon, Oats & Squash meal through my tube.

Oh, Betsy is the hot model

I liked being able to tell people that I've been eating Real Food Blends since they started and the meals ABSOLUTELY sit better in my stomach than Ensure ever did.  I think bit by bit, the health community is becoming aware of the benefits of eating real food, rather than corn syrupy formulas.  Hopefully Betsy and I helped Julie and Tony on Sunday, but then we had to get back to our couch and starving child, while the Bombacino's continued making the world a better place.

Bolender Horse Park, WA

Last month, I was lucky enough to take part in a mountain trail horse riding workshop for wounded warriors.  The Wounded Warrior Project sponsored the event and paid for everything, including our flights to western Washington for the event.  My post is kind of long and rambling, so if you’re just interested in the travel aspect, please read the next section.  If you’re more interested in the horse riding, feel free to skip down to that part.

The Flights

Unfortunately, Betsy couldn’t join me for the trip because Grace has already started school.  This was my first time traveling by myself since I got my tube, and I was pretty nervous about flying alone. 

Flying alone is a whole lot easier when you have a good book to keep you occupied!

Betsy called the TSA Cares phone number at 1-855-787-2227 to make sure someone would help me, my suction machine, and my meals get through security.  Usually, one or two TSA agents meet me at the ticketing counter and escort me the whole way through.  It’s a great program, and we’ve been very happy with it—until my return flight from Seattle.  

Betsy called the TSA line before my flight back and they said they would meet me, same as always. But two hours before the flight at SEATAC, nobody met me at ticketing.  Betsy and I called the TSA Cares line after I’d waited a while and they gave me the number for the local agent (Patty Something) in charge of helping out people with disabilities.  I called her number and got nothing but an answering machine.  At this point (an hour left until the flight) I was panicking because the line to get through security was insanely long and I was thinking I should be standing in line rather than waiting at ticketing for TSA.  I finally asked my airline (American) if they could help get in touch with someone at TSA.  They said they didn’t have a way of calling TSA.  Really, American Airlines??? Are you not on speaking terms or something??  There were agents all over the place, so I walked up to the closest one and asked about TSA Cares for disabled veterans.  He said that TSA couldn’t escort me through security.  I would have to get my airline to do it, even though TSA has escorted me through security at every other airport I’ve been to.  So, I’m freaking out because I’m running out of time.  Betsy is freaking out because I had her on the phone and she wanted me to give it to the nearest agent so she could chew them out.  American airlines finally got someone (who spoke no English) to help get me through security and I’m thinking that there’s no way I’ll make it.

But, I was worried over nothing.  The no-English guy apparently knew some shortcuts because he got me right up to the front of the line.  The TSA agents were very nice and helpful during screening, though I didn’t even want to ask them about TSA Cares.  At that point I just wanted to get to my gate. Anyway, the moral is, we’ll make extra sure that a local agent will help me out next time.  If there is a next time.  Betsy made a formal complaint to TSA.  She was really stressed out over the whole thing and doesn’t want me to do any more solo traveling.  

Going to, and coming from, Seattle, I had to make a connection in Dallas which required me to ride their Skylink system between terminals.  The one-hour layover gave me time to do it, but I move pretty slow and I felt rushed.  I didn’t really have time to stop and eat; just some time to hit the bathroom then jump on the next plane.  I had to do all my eating and drinking during the three hour flight between Dallas and Seattle

Coffee with butter and coconut oil on the way there

Can I eat a powdered Real Food Blend, glass of wine, AND bottle of water by myself flying coach???

DAMN RIGHT I CAN!!!!  My neighbor doesn't seem so impressed...

...and at SEATAC’s USO while I was waiting for transportation.

Real Food Blend at Seattle's USO when I arrived; had more coffee before I left

I brought my syringe holder in my carry-on so I could eat independently.  I also packed some butter and coconut oil in a small tupperware container.  This was for both lubricating my syringe plunger, and for bulletproof coffee during the long travel day.  Other than a couple hours of stress in Seattle, I’d say travel was a success, although it’s a whole lot easier with Betsy to help out.

Luggage carts are a necessity when flying solo

Dan and Bolender Horse Park

I met the other eight veterans I’d be spending the next five days with at SEATAC (another veteran didn’t arrive until the next day) and we rode a shuttle bus down to the horse training facility that Rainier Therapeutic Riding used for the event.  Getting to know the veterans, I became pretty intimidated by my relative lack of horse experience.  I’ve been riding horses for an hour each week with a disabled veterans program in Tennessee for about three years.  I’ve been riding independently (with no one leading the horse) for a couple years, but only in an arena setting, where my horse has limited distractions.  

So, no distractions like this one

Most of the other veterans had considerably more time on horseback.  One guy ran a veteran riding program in Gainesville, Florida.  Another managed a program where veterans spent time with horses in southern California.  A Marine vet from northern California frequently went trail riding in the Sierras with his neighbor’s horses.  And winning the prize for the most time in the saddle:  a 19-year Marine veteran from Phoenix rode across the country to raise awareness for disabled veterans.  

Group shot. The horse and vet to my left are freakishly tall. Just had to say that.

Save for myself and one Navy veteran, all the participants were either Army or Marine vets with varying time in service (from a few years to 26) and various wounds.  Most bore the invisible scars of PTSD on top of other injuries sustained in combat or from accidents back here in the U.S.  I was the only one who ate through a feeding tube and had no use of an arm (though another vet had some paralysis in his dominant arm), so they all said they were inspired to see me out there.  Honestly though, after hearing some of their near-death experiences, and knowing there were many other stories too painful to share, I was extremely inspired to be with them and honored to be included in this group of riders.

This was only the second time that PATH (the Professional Association of Therapeutic Horsemanship) has tried to have a mountain trail program for disabled vets—the first was a couple months earlier.  They were anxious to make sure it was a success so they can continue doing it in the future.  Rainier Therapeutic Riding (RTR), based in Yelm, WA, opted to hold the event at Bolender Horse Park, about an hour south of Yelm.  The park is managed by Mark Bolender, who is world-renowned for introducing his own unique style of mountain trail riding and competitions to the equestrian community.  Mark built a beautiful mountain trail course on his 40-acre farm with many challenging obstacles for both horse and rider to overcome.  I was especially awed when he and his horse, Checkers, breezed through every obstacle—backwards and forwards—with no bridle. Checkers knew instinctively what Mark wanted to do from the way he applied pressure with his legs.  

 

 Short Clip From Mark's Demonstration (thanks Joe)

Also, check him out doing this timed competition with no bridle

Our challenge was to learn how to lead (and ride) our horses through some of the easier obstacles in four days, so we could prepare for our horse show on Sunday.  The first step to accomplishing this feat was to earn the trust of the horses we met on Thursday.  My horse was a 16 year-old Mustang named Dan who came from a wild herd in Oregon.

"I used to be wild and free, but now I'm stuck with this loser"

Such a handsome guy!!! Dan looks good too.

A few words about Dan.  Dan is a Mustang who gives Mustangs a bad name. 

Dan's ink shows which herd he came from and when he was claimed by the B.L.M.

I say this because when I think of Mustangs, I think of spirited horses, as wild and untamed as the prairie lands they roam on.  If Ford Motor Company had known Dan when they were developing their signature muscle car, they would have changed the name to the Banana Slug.  This may sound like I didn’t care for my horse, but I absolutely adored him.  Dan reminds me a lot of my dog, Aspen. They are both extremely mellow and not bothered by much of anything.  If robbers broke into our house and held us at gunpoint while stealing our most valuable possessions, Aspen probably wouldn’t get off the couch—unless they offered him a treat.  

He's got fleas so you should probably avoid sitting here

If all the males in Dan’s herd decided to start an epic battle for dominance, Dan would just continue contentedly munching on his hay—and likely the hay of the otherwise occupied males.  These are the kinds of animals I like.  Let the other guy go and try to achieve dominance over his wild stallion.  I’m cool with the Zen animal who does all his thinking with his stomach.  

"You promised me five apples after all this, you jackass!"

Yes, Dan couldn’t take his mind off food and water.  You’d think they were starving him, but I was giving him the same hay every other horse got, even the massive horse (Zeke) the 6’7” vet was riding.  Plus I was slipping Dan apples on the side like crazy. All this food didn’t stop him from trying to eat every tuft of grass within reach on our course or guzzling down half the pond of water we had him walk through (the same pond the other horses peed and crapped in on a regular basis). Dan actually did bite me, but not because he’s ill-tempered.  He was trying to get some hay at breakfast before I could put it in his stall and took a small chunk out of my arm.  You might notice in many of the pictures I’ve shared of Dan out on the course that he’s wearing a Hannibal Lecter-type muzzle.  This was so he wouldn’t be tempted to stuff his face out on the course (didn’t make too much difference in Dan’s case).  Dan was the only horse in the group who needed a muzzle because the first day I was walking with him around the course, he pulled me over while going for grass.

After Fatty McFatButt pulled me down, they had somebody walk with us everywhere (thanks Melody!)

The first day of our horse training, we had to practice walking with our horses and “sending” them over obstacles.  This means having the horse do the obstacle while we stood to the side with a long lead rope.  The best way to send the horse over rocks or through a pond is to hold up the slack of the lead rope with one hand while the other twirls the rope off to the side.  The twirling rope is supposed to motivate the horse and tell it which way you’d like it to go.  I found this to be especially difficult because I could only use one hand.  I tried using my weak hand to hold onto the rope but I kept dropping it.  I think eventually I would have adapted and figured out a workaround to sending the horse with one hand, but it was difficult to be ready for our horse show on Sunday.  

We were all about making our horses do the crap we didn't want to do

Another difficulty was neck reigning Dan.  As I understand it, the two primary ways of steering the horse with reigns are direct reigning and neck reigning.  I would imagine that direct reigning is the easiest for the horse to understand.  If you tug on the right reign, the head of the horse is pulled right and the body follows.  Pulling the left reign achieves the opposite result.  Neck reigning is more challenging and was not one of Dan’s strong suits.  With neck reigning, you simply hold both reigns with one hand and apply gentle pressure to one side of the horse’s neck to convey your intent.  If I want to go right, I move the reigns right, putting light pressure on the left side of my horse’s neck.  Dan—and probably most other horses—required extra motivation for neck reigning in the form of leg pressure.  When I wanted to go left, I moved the reigns left with one hand while squeezing him with my right leg.  Left turns were great, but I had a hard time applying enough pressure with my weak left leg to turn right.  So then, when he wouldn’t immediately go right, I pulled more forcefully to the right.  All this did was pull the left side of his bit, so he would start to turn left, thinking he was being reigned directly.  Sorry if you can’t understand some of these horse concepts (I barely understand them myself).  All you really need to know is that Dan wasn’t so good at going where I told him, and it was likely more my fault than his (you probably figured that out already).

"Turn right, Dan!"

One part about our time at Bolender’s that I especially liked is that we were responsible for all aspects of our horses’ care.  This included cleaning out their stalls, making sure they ate before we did, and grooming them—especially hosing off their legs after they waded through the poop/pee ponds on the course.  Although I was only with him for four full days, I think this responsibility deepened my bond with Dan and gave me a real appreciation for what goes into caring for a horse.

I led Dan right over Melody's foot one day. Sorry about that.

This workshop was less than a week but I learned SO much, not just from walking and riding Dan, but also talking with the other riders and instructors at Bolender’s.  A gentleman from Italy—who teaches mountain trail riding in Europe—was at the farm getting some pointers from Mark.  He was one of our judges on the last day and he gave me some great advice for neck reigning my horse.  Too bad I didn’t get the advice until after the horse show, where I managed to steer Dan into some bushes.

Dan really enjoyed walking me into foliage

Bolender Horse Park is a beautiful place to have these events. Very picturesque part of rural southwest Washington.  I roomed with a 19-year Marine veteran in this tiny cabin:

Actually, I was in the dog house

We had fantastic meals cooked by an Army veteran named Greg.

The Master Chef at work

They had a full kitchen where I could plug up my Vitamix and blend all Greg's awesome food every day.

The Bolender kitchen

I ate Greg's food for breakfast and dinner and two Real Food Blends for lunch throughout my stay.  I never had any trouble blending and the table next to the kitchen was a perfect place to clamp my syringe holder.

Delicious!

I had a really enjoyable experience at this workshop.  I hope they continue doing it every year because I know many veterans will benefit from it!  HUGE THANK YOU to Jayla Neufeld (Greg's wife) for all the stunning pictures!!!!

The forest fires in Washington gave us great sunsets! Otherwise, they were pretty horrible.