Minnesota

We were invited to Betsy' cousin's (Justin) wedding in Shakopee, Minnesota, a rural town not far outside Minneapolis. Shakopee is where Betsy lived until she was 12, and the wedding was to take place in Betsy's old church, so Betsy was really excited about going. So last September, accompanied, once again, by Betsy's sister Katie ("Hey Brian, watcha doin."), we flew on a direct flight from Atlanta to the Twin Cities.

Isn't she adorable? I'm talking about the Chinese kid, not the other lady.

I've found that I need twice as much stuff whenever I travel now that I'm a tubie. I'm very jealous of the old Brian who could pack in a few minutes and travel light. Of course, I have to have my blender. Then there are my meds and supplements; I have around 15 that I bring with me. Also, I need a small mortar and pestle to crush my pills and a small cup and spoon to put them in. I usually travel with a cane because of all the walking I do when I travel. Plus, since I can't swallow my saliva I bring a portable suction machine and enough hand towels to go through two a day. 

This next bit is probably TMI, but this is a blog by a guy who can't swallow, so it has to be said. If you happen to see me drop my hand towel on the ground you should probably avoid touching it and just say, "dude, you dropped your towel." because I spit on that thing all day and it's gross. I think if I could have one thing at this point, it wouldn't be to swallow food. I've learned to deal with not swallowing food. What really annoys me is constantly drooling. I can never predict how bad my drooling will be either. Some days my mouth is nice and dry and I hardly use my towel at all. Other days it's like a faucet. I go through four towels in a matter of hours. Scientists should come up with a use for drool outside the mouth because I'm a drool factory and I bet I could make a fortune selling my drool to fertilize crops or act as an industrial lubricant or whatever you can use drool for. 

On every flight I have to carry on this awkward suction machine. It would be so awesome if I could go back to just carrying a backpack on the plane with a book, my iPod, and some snacks. Instead, I have to always remember my towel and my suction machine. Without a towel, I would be forced to carry a ton of napkins or tissues to spit in every minute or so. Without suction, it is difficult for me to get every bit of saliva out of my mouth.

My saliva is different consistencies. Some days it's really thin and constantly flows out of me. Other days, it can be extremely thick and builds up in the back of my throat. Since part of my mouth is partially paralyzed, it is harder to spit things out so every night I'm forced to hunch over the sink sounding like I'm hacking up a lung trying to get the extra thick gunk out of whatever hole it's hiding in. 

Some people have suggested just removing my salivary glands, but this brings a whole host of other problems. We need our saliva to keep our teeth clean. Even though I don't eat, I can still have teeth problems and those would be magnified without saliva. I'd rather not lose my teeth. Plus, talking is much easier with a moist mouth. So, it's best just to suck it up (so to speak) and deal with it.

Anyway, enough drool talk. We arrived in Minnesota. Betsy's parents were waiting for us. They don't like to fly so they drove up from Alabama, which is great for us because we didn't have to rent a car. We checked in at our hotel, the Hilton Garden Inn on the outskirts of Minneapolis in Eden Prairie. 

Hilton Garden Inn, Eden Prairie, MN; Trip Advisor gives it 3 stars; we enjoyed our stay

We had some time to kill, so we went to the Mall of America because I'd never been and we wanted Grace to ride a couple rides inside. We did a little shopping and Grace had a great time at Nickelodean Universe. She was very excited to see Dora, the Backyardigans, Kai Lan, and all that stuff I love to watch over, and over, and over.

Is it me or does Dora have a freakishly large head? And why does the monkey require footwear?

 I think she was even more excited to see the giant Justin Bieber cutout at the mall.

My daughter likes Justin Bieber. It's why I'm on anti-depressants.

While we were at the mall, we decided to go to the Rainforest Cafe to get dinner. They were very nice about blending up my meal. Grace was a bit scared of the thunderstorms that kept popping up while we ate, but otherwise it was a good meal.

Not the best picture, sorry. That's a waterfall with a rainbow behind us.

The next day, before the short drive to Shakopee, we ate at the hotel breakfast bar in the morning. We chose a table next to an electrical socket in the corner of the dining room so I could plug in my blender. I filled up my plate with fruit, eggs and bacon and dumped them into the pitcher with some coffee. If you haven't heard a Vitamix before they're pretty noisy, so I felt a little self-conscious about running my blender with other hotel guests sitting all around us. But, it was a loud room and I only ran the blender for a minute so it wasn't too bad. 

I had an awesome time meeting Betsy's extended family, seeing the house she grew up in and the church where she was baptised. Grace loved seeing the wedding and she loved the wedding reception even more. For the reception, the caterers were kind enough to blend up my meal for me so I could eat with everyone else. I also stayed hydrated with plenty of alcohol during the evening.

Grace was on the floor dancing all night. She even danced by herself during the first song. While everyone should have been focused on this lovely moment between the bride and groom, Grace was out there jamming with abandon. She shut the place down. Betsy's mother took pictures of the festivities and will hopefully pass those on to us soon, so I'll post them on here when I get them.

The next day, we woke up, I ate at the hotel breakfast bar again and we drove to the airport for our flight home. It was a short trip, but enjoyable!