Christmas With the Dog

We spend most Christmases with Betsy's parents at their home in Alabama. They used to have dogs, but since they moved into their new house, they decided that dogs aren't worth the hassle of cleaning messes. So, we were very happy when they told us we could bring our dog, Aspen, down to stay over Christmas. The last time I brought Aspen down, the first thing he did when he got in their house was run into the living room and pee on their carpet. He NEVER wets in our house. In fact, he has a 50-gallon bladder. I think he could go for days without peeing, only bothering to do so when he's marking his territory. We decided this must be a fluke. He only sprayed their carpet because it was a new place, he smelled the cat, and he wanted to claim ownership. So, we brought him down, again, and what does he do? Pees on the carpet, right in front of the Christmas tree. THEN, a couple days later, he sneaks in Betsy' parent's bedroom and pees right in front of the cat!!! My father-in-law, Larry, didn't know about that last one until he read it just now, so I've ensured that Aspen is never invited back to Alabama.

He seemed to have such a good rapport with their cat

During our stay, Betsy, Katie (Hey Brian, watcha doin?) and I took Aspen for a walk in the woods near their neighborhood. He's been with the family a while now; I like to think he's developed a certain bond with us. So I decided to let him off leash. This isn't the first time I've let him off. I've set him free in a park near Knoxville when we're all alone and he's stayed with me the whole way (over a mile's walk) around a big loop.

An excellent walking companion

So, we're in the woods in Alabama and we let him go.  At first, he sticks close. Then, pretty soon, I guess he decided we were going too slow and he sets off, quickly disappearing in the thick underbrush.

At first, we were pretty calm, "Aspen! Come here, boy! We're going this way now!" Then, we start getting a little more panicky, "ASPEN!!! COME!!!" This type of dog, Great Pyrenees, is pretty difficult to train and we haven't had him that long, so calling his name and asking him to come is a pointless exercise, but we do it anyway. We fan out in the woods. "ASPEN!!!!" Those woods were a nightmare, by the way. Brambles everywhere. At certain points, the thorny weeds were so thick, I just had to lead with my right side (the side that can't feel pain), put my head down, and bull my way through the nasty stuff. "ASPEN!!!!" At first, we were within earshot of each other, but after a while, I realized I couldn't hear Katie or Betsy any more. I had my phone, and I knew approximately where I was, but the girls didn't have phones (we're so smart about thinking ahead). "ASPEN!!!!" I just kept pushing my way through the brush. I'm getting cuts up and down my right side from the thorns. No sign of the dog. No sign of anybody. "ASPEN!!!!" I finally force my way through to a large clearing. I can see a lake through the woods ahead. Can't see anyone else. Did Aspen just see a good chance to escape and leave me for good?? We saw a deer out this way on our walk yesterday. Maybe he set off after its scent. "ASPEN!!!!"

My phone rings. It's Sarah, Betsy's youngest sister, who is back at the house.

"Brian? Aspen's back at the house."

"Holy crap! How did he get there?"

"I don't know! Katie came in with him. She's hysterical."

"OK. Where's Betsy?"

"OH! I don't know. I guess she's still out there!"

"OK." I start walking back. "BETSY!!!!!" I push my way up to the ridge where I thought Betsy was looking for Aspen. Pretty soon, I make my way out to a rocky edge where the ground slopes sharply down about 500 feet to a highway. No sign of Betsy. "BETSY!!!!" I try making my way back toward the house along the ridge, but the thorns are too thick. I'd need a machete to get through this mass of prickly brambles that seemed to only exist to cause me pain. Finally, I give up on that route, backtrack, and set out the way I came. 

"BETSY!!!!"

About halfway home, I get another call--this time from Betsy.

"Babe? Where are you?" she said.

"I was out here looking for you!"

"I'm ok. Aspen found his way back."

Yep, turns out while the three of us were bumbling around in the Alabama brush, Aspen circled back around and went straight to my in-law's doorstep. He was standing at the door and barking for them to let him in when Katie got back to get her phone. I'd only taken him for a walk once before around a neighborhood where all the houses look essentially the same. So he just lets his nose do the work to have a laugh and make us two-legged folk look like idiots. 

This image may be hard to understand, but it took me forever to create so I'm leaving it in here

Well played, Aspen, well played.