Things I Want Right Now: Popcorn Edition

I haven't done this in a while. Eric O'Gorman used to do a thing on his EntropyandLight blog called "Things I want right now" where he would wax nostalgic about a food he missed tasting, like a peanut butter sandwich. Using my creative genius, I unashamedly stole the name of his post so I could reminisce on the days of stuffing my face. Specifically, I would really like to be eating this particular food at the moment:

Preferred methods of dying: lightning bolt, bear mauling, randomly crushed by falling anvil, drowning in popcorn

I LOVE popcorn. Love it. Love it. Love it. The best part about going to the movies is the previews at the beginning and the popcorn.

Cats like popcorn too, apparently

I heartily enjoy buying a large popcorn and munching on it until I'm sick to my stomach (usually happens by the third preview). Just writing this post and looking up popcorn images online is making me crazy!

I don't know if he's a slob or a genius...

Don't give me that kettle corn crap. Popcorn does not need sugar people! What sort of lunatic took the perfection of popcorn and decided to add sugar????? It's like saying, "Ooooh, peanut butter and chocolate make a delicious combination, but how about if I add a can of tuna fish?" Yes, it's EXACTLY like that!!!

All I need on my popcorn is salt, butter, and--if we're making it at home--parmesan cheese. What's that? You've never put parmesan cheese on your popcorn? Since I can't stop thinking about eating popcorn, let me give you a detailed description.

First, you need an air popcorn popper.

Ours looks like this. Orville Redenbacher is my soulmate.

In a small saucepan, add the desired amount of butter and melt over a burner on a low setting.

Liquid gold

While the butter is melting, dump a cup of popcorn kernels into your machine and plug that sucker in! Be sure to place a bowl under the popcorn chute. Or, if you want to live dangerously, see what happens if you aim it over your kitchen floor. 

I chose to be a sissy and use a bowl (Betsy made me do it)

HERE'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!! Once the butter is melted, add about 1/4 of a cup of parmesan cheese and stir until dissolved. YES, PARMESAN CHEESE!! PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I DON'T USE 'ALL CAPS' LIGHTLY!!!

Liquid gold with flecks of sunshine? The 'Liquid gold' metaphor isn't holding up.

If you've never tried popcorn this way, go make some right now! The parmesan/butter combination makes it irresistible. Pour your insanely delicious butter mixture over your popcorn, then add salt and mix it up to ensure that every kernel is fully coated with delicious cow fat. 

Butter will also settle on the bottom so you can scrape it up with the last kernels (I heard this is healthy!)

Now, it's all ready for you to enjoy. Please eat it right in front of me, or make a video of you devouring it and send it to me, so I can grind my teeth while imagining those crunchy bits of cheesy, buttery flavor dissolving in my mouth.

Just rub it in my face, you adorable little monster