eMeals

I am not a chef.

OK, maybe I'm not this bad, but it's close

I am incapable of looking at various ingredients in our pantry and thinking, hmmm, an onion, potato, avocado, can of baked beans, can of mandarin oranges, and a can of tuna...AHA!!!! I know exactly what to do with this, and it will leave my seven year-old licking her plate!!! Nope, more than likely, I would leave those cans there, tell the family to fend for themselves and break out a Real Food Blend. Wait...did I just endorse a company--Real Food Blends--in the middle of endorsing another company--E-Meals?? I sure-the-hell DID!!! Now go shop at Target  (Expect More. Pay Less) and treat yourself to a meal at Red Lobster (Sea Food Differently) tonight!

I've had my share of cooking mishaps, set the fire alarm off a number of times, produced meat that was still bloody inside, rice that was crunchy, scrambled eggs that were brown, hamburgers that could double as hockey pucks.

I tried cooking a pizza on a wooden cutting board in the oven once...I'm not a smart man

I've tried baking birthday cakes a number of times for Grace and they've been disasters. The frosting oozing off the side like some sort of yellowish sludge. The layers sliding apart until the cake resembled a leaning tower on the verge of toppling over.

I guess my cakes could've been worse though

At the beginning of our marriage, Betsy and I split cooking duties. We each had a couple meals we'd picked up from our mothers (mine were fried rice and spaghetti), and we would add hamburger helper, tuna helper, or mac and cheese to the rotation. Neither of us were big eaters, and cooking was a chore we put the least amount of effort in.

Then, I lost the ability to eat in April, 2009, and started blending my meals in December. Ironically, I lost the ability to taste my food, but grew fascinated with all aspects of cooking. I started out depending on AllRecipes.com. I only cooked meals that appealed to me with four and a half stars or more. I got bored if I made the same meal twice, so I tended to try new dishes as often as possible. Some were hits and some misses. I have a huge stack of AllRecipes meals that I printed out with notations on each one for how they tasted and which ingredients to try for next time.

This worked out pretty well for a while, but I started running out of ideas. I also found out that eating gluten and legumes caused the eczema that had been bothering me for years. Around the same time I discovered eMeals.com. EMeals is a genius website for hopeless chefs like me. For a small monthly cost ($5 a month), you get a weekly meal plan that includes a different entree and side every night. They offer a wide variety depending on your diet (vegetarian, paleo, gluten-free, diabetic, Mediterranean, 30-minute meals, there's a big list).

Here's an example of the meal plans. I have the gluten-free any-store plan

The best part is, you also get a shopping list that you can tailor, depending on where you shop (Kroger, Publix, Safeway, Target, Walmart, Costco, Whole Foods, etc.). The grocery list allows you to get everything you need for the week, without worrying about running back to the store every other night for a forgotten item.

They even divide the grocery list so you're not wandering all over the store searching for each ingredient

So now I do all the cooking and the best part is Betsy can boast to all her friends that her husband creates 'gourmet meals' every night (compared to what we were eating, these are definitely gourmet meals). My reputation in the kitchen has gone from this:

I like this picture on so many levels; especially the frowny face

To this:

Maybe not exactly like this...Grace doesn't like asparagus

I strongly encourage anyone to try out eMeals. It has greatly simplified our lives and helped us eat more healthy, varied diets.