The Birmingham Macaroni Grill

There are two reasons I've heard for restaurants not accepting my blender (thereby not allowing me to eat). The first reason is because of liability. If the restaurant were to break my Vitamix, then they'd be afraid I could sue them. I can see where they're coming from in today's overly litigious society. No matter how much I reassure them that the Vitamix has an excellent warranty and I'm not the type who goes around suing restaurants, or anyone for that matter, there's still that fear that I'm an asshole. So, let me just say right now, restaurants: Vitamix will replace my blender!!! Feel free to use and abuse it!!

The second reason is that the blender is 'unsanitary.' I heard this at the Chile's here in Knoxville. We took my sister-in-law, Sarah, out to dinner there for her birthday a few weeks ago.

Sarah with Grace and Sarah's adorable daughter, Harper (unfortunately, Sarah's husband was at work)

Harper loves her big cousin, Grace!

I ordered my meal and Betsy gave the waiter the run-down on how I eat and how to handle the Vitamix. The waiter came back a few minutes later and explained that the kitchen needs to be absolutely certain every dish they use is sanitary. They didn't know where my blender had been so they couldn't use it for my dinner. I was bummed out until the waiter told us that if they could run the Vitamix pitcher through their dishwasher before they put the food in, then it would be sanitary enough.

I was left thinking uh...why did you even feel the need to tell me that? I have no problem with any kitchen washing out my pitcher before they use it. Just blend the food up and bring it out. Use the blender as you see fit!

"I want my baby back baby back baby back"

So, maybe that was a case of too much information from the restaurant. At the same time, I appreciate it when the chefs and servers communicate with me to make sure my food comes out the right way. I'm asking restaurants to go a few steps beyond what they'd normally do for my meals. Not only will they need to prepare the food, they also need to blend it properly and bring it out in the pitcher. I'd rather have the server ask me a hundred inane questions about the way I eat than have a situation where there is poor--or a lack of--communication.

Compare my experience at Chile's with the dinner I had at a Macaroni Grill in Birmingham a couple weeks ago. 

This Macaroni Grill, to be precise

We were in Alabama, staying with Betsy's parents, for Christmas, like we do every year. 

"But Brian," you say, "why don't you visit your family for the holidays??" 

That's a good question, devoted-reader-of-my-blog (A.K.A.: 'Mom'); I'm glad you brought it up. In fact, we don't visit my mother and sister for the holidays because they live in Germany. According to some people in this house, Germany is "too far away," "too expensive to get to," and "too cold in December" (Blah Blah Blah). So, I have to spend my Christmas in Alabama, where it never snows and Santa's reindeer get heatstroke (no offense to anyone living in Alabama; at least you're better than Florida, am I right?? (no offense to anyone living in Florida)).

I can't say anything bad about these people because they're my in-laws and I see them All. The. Time.

Sorry, got sidetracked a bit there. So, we all went out to dinner and I took the Vitamix with me. I brought my blender into a Romano's Macaroni Grill in Hawaii this past summer and had no problems, so we didn't think there'd be any issues this time either. I ordered my meal (grilled salmon) and Betsy explained to the waiter how he just needed to put all the food in the blender, add about 12 ounces of water and blend on high for 90 seconds. He nodded, wrote everything down and left, like it was no big deal.

A while later, we still had my blender at the table and I was wondering when he was coming back to get it for my meal. Just then, everyone's meals were brought out to the table, except mine. Betsy asked the server if he needed my Vitamix, but he said they wouldn't take my blender. It was a sanitation issue, so they were mixing the meal at the bar with their own blender. I figured that was fine. It would have been nice if they'd let me know about it before, but I'm sure they use a powerful blender at the bar. Again: no big deal. 

Soon enough, they bring out my meal...in a large bowl. 

"No," Betsy patiently explains, "as I already said, could you please bring the meal in the pitcher so he can pour it?"

"Ok, no problem." They bring my meal back out in their pitcher and I'm given a look at their blender pitcher. Of course, I forgot to take pictures at these crucial moments so I'll do my best to describe it. The pitcher had seen better days. Half of the plastic base the pitcher stands on was broken off so it tilted at a wild angle; nearly toppling over. It was from a normal, store-bought blender, which might be fine for margaritas, but couldn't possibly liquify a serving of broccoli. I tried a few times to push some down my tube, but there were too many chunks. I should've just given up at this point, but they were only blending fish, not steaks. I thought a normal blender would be able to handle it. We called the waiter back, and told him to blend it longer. "Ok, no problem."

The broken pitcher comes back out, but I can still see the chunks in it. Nevertheless, I try pushing it in again--no luck. At this point, the bartender comes over and we explain to her that we need to use the Vitamix for my blend. She says, unfortunately, she can't use a strange blender behind the bar (but a 20 year-old broken blender is just fine) but she was willing to blend up my meal, using our Vitamix, in the small room the servers use to prepare drinks. Ok, that would be fine. We give her the Vitamix, telling her to run it on high for a minute to make sure everything is blended. Moments later, she brings the pitcher out, I try to bolus it yet again, and...no luck. There are still too many chunks. Finally, Betsy goes back in the room and blends up my meal. By the time I start eating, everyone else has finished.

I'm not angry because Macaroni Grill wouldn't take my blender in the kitchen. We've heard it before at other restaurants. My personal feeling is that those places simply aren't willing to go outside their comfort zone to feed a disabled customer, so they use sanitation as an excuse. 95% of the places we've been to have accepted our Vitamix. If they really wanted to make their customer happy, then they could have adapted to meet my needs. It could only be beneficial to them: I always leave a great tip and I give them a 'shout-out' on here. Just clean my pitcher if it's not sanitary enough. But that's not why I won't go back to that Macaroni Grill.

Unlike the Chile's here in Knoxville, they failed to communicate with us. The waiter didn't explain until after the fact that they would be using their own blender. He didn't listen, or try to clarify, how I wanted my food blended. He brought the meal out in a bowl after we told him to bring it in the pitcher. The restaurant wasn't crowded that night; it's not like our server had more pressing matters to attend. If he'd taken the time to really listen to how I eat, he could've understood that the food needed to be thin enough to fit through a narrow tube. I'm asking servers to take a couple extra steps so I can eat meals with my family. Just dump the food in a blender then bring it out to me. They don't even need to season it well; it's not like I'm going to taste it. Is it too much to ask them to keep their customers happy?