IHOP

Thank you, IHOP at 7128 Kingston Pike, for being the ONLY restaurant so far to not allow me to use my blender.

you suck, IHOP

Grace had a hankering (yeah, I just used "hankering" in a sentence) for some pancakes last year and if there's one thing we Americans are good at, it's feeding our kids sugary, unhealthy food whenever they demand it. So, we immediately piled in the car and raced down to the nearest House of We-Put-Whipped-Cream-on-Everything so that we could instantly gratify Grace's latest craving.

Because nobody wants to eat a whipped cream frownie face

When we arrived, I rolled in the Vitamix while Betsy explained the situation to our server. She said blending up my meals would be no problem and went ahead and took our orders. Recognizing that IHOP has not yet perfected the gluten-free pancake, I adhered to my diet and ordered an omelet.

However, a few minutes later, the server came back to the table and explained that they could not blend up my meal. The manager told her that using a customer's blender in their kitchen would violate health code.

right...

The Chocolate Chocolate Chip Pancakes, CINN-A-STACK Pancakes, and New York Cheesecake Pancakes are perfectly reasonable for our health codes, but God forbid you introduce a foreign Vitamix into their kitchen.

"Hold the whipped cream. I'm watching my weight."

In retrospect, I guess I thought IHOP was a little more upscale than they really are. Now I see it's more like me taking my blender into McDonalds and asking the 16 year-old behind the counter to blend up my Big Mac and shake.

And anyway, I found out later that they put flour (gluten) into their omelets, so thank you IHOP at 7128 Kingston Pike for saving me from several weeks of eczema and saving Grace from childhood obesity.

"IHOP! Come Hungry, Leave With Type II Diabetes!"